"I asked the Shaman and he told me what to do"
"What Shaman? I mean, you know a Shaman?
She gave me a look that let me know I was clearly clueless.
"No, silly, I looked him up in the yellow pages." She shoved me in jest. "Seriously, how can you not know a Shaman?"
I shook my head "You know I'm just a sheltered, Lutheran, Swede. So what did the Shaman say?
"I'm supposed to smudge the room with sage"
"What does that mean, exactly?"
"Well, that was what I was hoping you'd tell me - That's why I had you bring over your sage."
"Sandy!" I said, with exasperation. "I'm a cook - not a medicine woman! I brought sage but it's rubbed sage - the kind you put on turkey stuffing or on turkey - I don't know if it will work for .... what did you say? Smoking?"
"Oh," she said.
"Wait, I said 'smoking' but what was the right word?"
"What does that mean? Maybe this is the right stuff?
Sandy brightened "Well it means to make smoke - I looked it up!"
"Okay," I said, "let me get this straight - you went to see a Shaman - one that you found in the yellow pages - "
"I was kidding about that" she interrupted.
"-And he told you that to get rid of the bad feelings from the fight you had with Marcus you should burn sage in this room?"
"Yeah, he said that it would cleanse the air."
"And by 'sage' he meant the herb - that kind of sage?"
She looked puzzled, "Is there another kind of sage?"
"Oh, Sandy I don't know. Why don't you call your Shaman back and clear it up - ask where we can get the sage he wanted you to use?"
Sandy looked exceptionally uncomfortable at this idea. "I don't have his number." she said.
I thought "hmmm - that's pretty lame." I looked at her more closely and said "Sandy, is this Shaman a real person - or is he someone you 'met' in a book?"
"Well, not in a book, exactly."
It came out of her in a rush "At writing, this morning. Someone wrote about a Shaman and smudging a room with sage to clear it and I thought it sounded like such a good idea.... And I knew you'd know about sage...."
"Yeah, well, just for cooking."
"Hey! Maybe we can look it up on the Internet....."