Tuesday, March 31, 2009

This voice....

It was hard to do, but it needed done. I faced him down, stuck a knife in his bubble and burst it. It was liberating--all those years of feeling trapped -- feeling unworthy--feeling........well it finally came to me that these feelings were just thatt - feelings. And as they were my feelings I could make them true or prove they weren't and so I faced them -- faced the fear-- and won.

I know it sounds stupid, but I really didn't know. All those years, I didn't know I could do that...face him down, I mean. Make him back off.... Oh, and when I say I used a knife I don't mean a real one. I didn't need to. I just, well you know the phrase "she had a sharp tongue"? I just sharpened my tongue - my words actually. Once I started using that tongue it just seemed to get sharper and sharper....like some possessed ginsu knife.... He did end up looking wholly deflated even though he initially reacted in anger. I expected the anger to just keep growing, escalating until he hit me or something. You know, he never did hit me. He wasn't that kind of cruel--much more with the words that one.

After I was done - after the possession left me, I left him. And it was good.